Come on in and hide from reality for a while
If you can read then you can travel not just to the far corners of the universe today, but to any number of universes during any time period you choose. You can travel with anyone you wish, do whatever you like in total safety and then come back at the merest tuck of a bookmark, all in time to see if there’s honey still for tea.
NGLND XPX – for release July 2013…
I know what makes me me and you you.
I know why the birds go on singing.
I even know the way to San José.
I don’t know how to solve all of your problems; no-one ever could because, well, oy vey, no-one else has suffered as you have.
But there’s one thing I will do for you.
I’ll hide your brain. I’ll keep it alive against all the odds. I’ll keep it warm and moist.
Your boss is still going to be a baboon’s sitting equipment in the morning. The one you love will still think that shouting “brace yourself dear” across a crowded room is foreplay. Your mother will still blame you for her necessary sartorial reliance on duct tape and whalebone. Your father will still look at you and wonder if perhaps his insistence on wearing thin cotton shorts during all of those years working in a nuclear power station was ill-advised. Children will still point at you in the street and laugh. But your brain will be safe. So… Give. Me. Your. Brain.
Hand it over and I’ll take it somewhere safe. Not hee-hee ha-ha safe, but ooh yeah, roll me over and read that to me again Claude safe. I’ll take it somewhere where it will feed on lush green grass and drink from babbling brooks. I’ll take it somewhere where it will be kissed by the sun and romanced by the moon and tickled by the breeze and massaged twice daily by Scandinavians in white coats, somewhere it can think forbidden thoughts with wobbly abandon and live, I tell you, live. Live!
Wouldn’t that be nice?
I’ll even warm the spoons.
To hell with heavy canvas jackets – turn your face to the heat-lamp, damn the leather straps and cue the chorus of Born Free, as free as the wind blows… born free, and life is worth living…
We must act quickly – the door to this room is solid enough but the hinges can only take so much battering. One more shoulder to the fray or a lucky hob-nailed kick and I fear they’ll be through. Listen carefully, I shall say this only once:
Coin-operated “Half-hour Asylum! Catch-your-breath” arrangements – CLICK one of these
Hurry, or they’ll be through and then they’ll get you too.