Come on in and hide from reality for a while
If you can read then you can travel not just to the far corners of the universe today, but to any number of universes during any time period you choose. You can travel with anyone you wish, do whatever you like in total safety and then come back at the merest tuck of a bookmark, all in time to see if there’s honey still for tea.
NGLND XPX – for release July 2013…
I know what makes me me and you you.
I know why the birds go on singing.
I even know the way to San José.
I don’t know how to solve all of your problems; no-one ever could because, well, oy vey, no-one else has suffered as you have.
But there’s one thing I will do for you.
I’ll hide your brain. I’ll keep it alive against all the odds. I’ll keep it warm and moist.
Your boss is still going to be a baboon’s sitting equipment in the morning. The one you love will still think that shouting “brace yourself dear” across a crowded room is foreplay. Your mother will still blame you for her necessary sartorial reliance on duct tape and whalebone. Your father will still look at you and wonder if perhaps his insistence on wearing thin cotton shorts during all of those years working in a nuclear power station was ill-advised. Children will still point at you in the street and laugh. But your brain will be safe. So… Give. Me. Your. Brain.
Hand it over and I’ll take it somewhere safe. Not hee-hee ha-ha safe, but ooh yeah, roll me over and read that to me again Claude safe. I’ll take it somewhere where it will feed on lush green grass and drink from babbling brooks. I’ll take it somewhere where it will be kissed by the sun and romanced by the moon and tickled by the breeze and massaged twice daily by Scandinavians in white coats, somewhere it can think forbidden thoughts with wobbly abandon and live, I tell you, live. Live!
Wouldn’t that be nice?
I’ll even warm the spoons.
To hell with heavy canvas jackets – turn your face to the heat-lamp, damn the leather straps and cue the chorus of Born Free, as free as the wind blows… born free, and life is worth living…
We must act quickly – the door to this room is solid enough but the hinges can only take so much battering. One more shoulder to the fray or a lucky hob-nailed kick and I fear they’ll be through. Listen carefully, I shall say this only once:
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Hurry, or they’ll be through and then they’ll get you too.
Chin-chin.
Ian H.
Ian you are quirky awesome. I love it!
Yikes Victoria – thank you, you are my number one fan.
No, seriously, I have assigned you the Official Fan Number 0001.
Sweet! Shucks though…I think I’d like to be 007. Can you arrange that?!
Done! I dub thee 007 …
It’s always a relief to realise you’re not alone… https://butlersfolly.wordpress.com/
Hello Sir, sad to relate I am rarely left alone these days, even if only monitored by the staff here on CCTV. It’s not as though the straps aren’t secure. Wibble.
I shall become your faithful follower, Sir.
Welcome and, if I may say so – welcome! If you are about to follow me then please be advised that I propose a shimmy to the left, a dip to the right and several small hops, skips and random jumps at around 8pm. These will all be performed to the tune of Land of Hope and Glory as played by the Boomtown Rats. Have I said welcome? Oh – well, welcome!
That will certainly be worth watching!
Loved the trailer. I got the impression this will be a hilarious read, a kind of alternate history steam-punk-zombie thriller….I think…maybe. Not actually sure at all, but one thing I am certain about–it’s definitely not a cookbook. I would have noticed that.
Hello Sir! The book doesn’t so much fall between genres as plunge between them and start digging… it’s the ramblings of a disordered mind! A bit of everything and not much of any one particular thing. A trash-can smorgasbord served on a typewriter.